Page 14 - Parenting Pamphlets

Good Ways to Communicate With Kids: Toddlers Dealing with Meltdowns Exercise - Good Ways to Communicate

Toddlers are just learning to talk, What are positive ways to talk to a child in these situations?
„ Stop and Listen– Pay attention and hear what
they are saying. Don’t focus on what you want to so watch their body language and Kids of all ages will occasionally Situation Good Communication
say next, but really listen. expressions to help understand act out and throw a fit when they
what they want. Your child will don’t get their way. Kids are learning EXAMPLE:
„ Repeat what they say in a more adult way– pick up on your emotions by the to express their strong emotions, Your five year old is whining because “You’ve had time to watch your
“So, you feel that you are old enough to stay up sound of your voice - loud and so help them work through their his TV time is up and he wants to keep favorite show. Come help me get
supper ready and tell me what
until 8:30.” harsh, or calm and soothing. Even feelings. watching TV. happened in the show today.”

„ Help your child put their feelings into words– if you don’t know how much your
”It sounds like you are really sad because you child understands, talk to them „ Stay calm- don’t yell back. You Your teenager is complaining that you
didn’t get picked for the team.” anyway. don’t have to feel or act on their won’t let him play with a new friend
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because you haven’t met him yet. He
„ Watch body language– The expression on your Preschoolers anger. doesn’t want you involved.
face and how you hold your body when you talk Preschoolers are using „ Let a tantrum run its course-
can send a totally different message than your more sentences and NO is a Many meltdowns start because Your 14-year old daughter just wants
For Evaluation Only
words. We tend to trust body language more than common word. They like to kids don’t think you are to hang out with her friends, and barely
the words. Watch the actions of your child. have discussions and imitate listening to them. They want talks to you except to roll her eyes
„ Listen to your tone– Sometimes it’s not what other people. Give them your your attention and they want it when you ask her to do her chores.
you say, but how you say it. Kids pick up on how full attention, ask questions, their way.
loud you say it, and the emotions behind what and help them put their „ Comfort them or leave them Your 9-year old son is constantly
pestering his 13-year old sister, driving
you say. feelings and what’s bothering alone if that’s what they want. her crazy.
„ Don’t lecture or nag– Instead, tell them the them into words. „ Try not to feel embarrassed
problem and ask them how they plan to solve it. and don’t threaten your child-
“You haven’t started your homework yet. What’s Meltdowns happen to every Your 4-year old is throwing a tantrum
your plan for getting it done so you can go to School- Age Kids parent in the worst places. Know because she doesn’t want to go to bed.
bed on time?” Kids at this age that the people around you have What can you say and do to calm her
are becoming more down?
„ Stop and pause before you answer No– Take probably experienced it too and
time to pause and listen to what your child has independent and resistant feel sympathy for you.
said. Even if your answer is probably no, it let’s to parents. They may Your 11-year old daughter, who is
usually talking all the time and happy,
them feel that you’ve listened to what they said. doubt or criticize parents is sitting at dinner very quiet and not
and may be more private
„ Pick your battles– It’s OK to negotiate with your about their thoughts. eating her food. What would you do?
kids sometimes, especially when it’s not that big Find time to talk to them,
a deal. “We’re leaving in 10 minutes.” “Can I asking them specific Every time you get home from work,
have 20?” “How about 15?” “OK.” questions, and showing them respect by listening your 3-year old is tugging on you
wanting you to play. All you want to do
to what they are saying. Don’t take silence or is change clothes and relax.
impulsive remarks personally.