Page 19 - Parenting Pamphlets

Make the Punishment Fit the Crime Different Rules for Different Ages How you discipline your kids depends on their age and
Why Kids Act Out: temperament. What is appropriate for a toddler won’t work for a 6-year old. As kids grow the types of
One of the best ways to punish kids for
Kids misbehave for different reasons. Knowing mistakes and breaking rules is to let them discipline they need change.
what they are, and how to deal with them in a good
way, is an important part of discipline. experience the results of their mistake. Age/ Key Points Good Discipline Appropriate Punishment
Toddlers/ Preschool: (1-4)
1. Children want your attention. If they can’t get If Jeron doesn’t complete his homework, he Toddlers don’t understand punishment, „ Pay attention and give praise „ Time-out (1 minute for
each year of age)
for good behavior
it for good reasons, they can act out in a negative will get a low grade at school and may it’s best to praise them for good behavior „ Teach new skills one at a time „ Talk about what happened
way to get a reaction from you. Talk to your kids get more homework assigned by the and remove them from negative situa- „ Distract them from negative –show him what he did
every day and get involved in what they are doing. teacher. He will feel the real impact of tions. Preschoolers are more aware and behavior by giving them wrong and then give him
can understand instructions and start
something else
another option
2. Kids act out when they are afraid. It may be a not doing his homework. You should have to predict the results of some of their „ Give kids two choices – “you „ Give short-term
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fear of violence, a new situation at school, or with some consequence for getting low grades, actions. can do this, but not that” consequences
friends. Be sure to talk with your kids and find out and you may need to give Jeron some „ Play games – make the chore
what’s going on. encouragement to get his a game
For Evaluation Only
3. Kids misbehave when they feel bad about homework done on time by Elementary School: (5-10) „ Praise good behavior „ Use natural
„ Reward good behavior
Kids are trying to sort out good and bad
consequences
themselves. If kids feel bad, they can act badly. limiting his TV or playtime behavior. They need to understand why „ Pay attention and listen „ Grounding
Give them praise and encouragement to make them you react like you do. They understand „ Clearly state the rules „ Take away privileges
feel better about themselves. until after homework is done. rules and should be given household „ Be consistent in enforcing „ Time outs
4. Kids learn bad behaviors by copying you. If you When Keshia won’t eat chores and some responsibility. Any rules
punishment should follow closely after
are yelling or using bad language, how can you get the food you serve for rule-breaking.
upset when they do it too? Make sure you are being supper, let her go hungry for a meal Pre-Teens-Young Teens: (11-14) „ Praise good behavior „ Use natural
a good role model for your children. instead. Her feeling hungry is a natural Kids are looking for more independence, „ Take time to talk with them consequences
5. Allergies to food and the environment can also consequence of her actions. but want to know rules are in place and and listen „ Take away privileges
cause kids to act out. If your child always seems Try to have punishments relate to you care enough to enforce them. They „ Set limits and enforce the „ Grounding
are more influenced by friends. They
„ Time outs – to cool off
rules
to get overactive after having lunch, they might are pushing boundaries – it’s time to „ Don’t lecture, ask questions
have an allergy to wheat in the bread, or corn syrup the behavior you want to correct. adjust the rules, add privileges, add more instead
in a sweet drink. Try changing the foods in your If Jon keeps leaving his bike on the responsibilities.
kid’s diet and see what happens. front lawn instead of putting it away, High School Age Teens: (15-18) „ Praise positive behavior „ Use natural
consequences
taking away the bike for a day or two Consistency, clear rules, clear conse- „ Give teens more input into „ Take away privileges
setting up the rules and
quences, stick to them – allow some input
Avoiding the Spoiled Brat is a better punishment than limiting on what is fair when setting the rules, consequences „ Grounding
Be consistent. Don’t change the rules, keep giving his TV time. Jon will feel the direct Don’t negotiate, but pick your battles. „ Set boundaries and stick to „ Added responsibility
them
warnings but not consequences, or bribe kids to behave. impact of losing the bike, and be more
Don’t give in to whining. If you do, kids will learn that it’s motivated to putting his bike away No child is the same... so don’t expect the same type of discipline to work for every kid. What worked
OK to break the rules. for child #1 may have no effect on child #2.
correctly the next time.