Page 79 - Parenting Instructors Manual

#3 – BEING A GOOD PARENT

Permissive – Tend to give into what the child wants.

The challenge: Kids can end up expecting to get what they want all the time,
in all situations, instead of what they need. When it starts early, life as a
parent will be harder when you are trying to get kids to do their chores,
homework, behaving responsibly, and not talking back.

They need to learn self-restraint, patience, sharing, responsibility, etc.
Ask the question: What will make my child happy tomorrow, next week, or
in 5 years?

Uninvolved: Hands-off approach – suffering the consequences

The challenge: you don’t protect children from lessons that happen due to
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their actions. Sometimes the lesson can be learned easier with a little help
and patience from parents. If you don’t give your kids help, they won’t expect
it, and while this builds independent adults, it can create kids who don’t feel
secure or protected, and can lead to situations where they can feel
overwhelmed by a situation.
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Sometimes it’s good NOT to get involved and let kids take the consequences
of their actions. Don’t let your mood or disinterest cause you to leave your
child on their own.
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Example: Suppose your 6 grader comes to you with help
with math homework. Math isn’t your strong suit and rather
than admit that you really don’t know how to do the math
problem, you tell your child to put off the homework, or
pretend you’re too busy to help. Instead, help them figure
out where to find help, whether from the book, the internet,

or another person.

Authoritative – A balance of high expectations and rules with lots of
patience, and consideration for the child’s perspective.
What you need: Give kids reasons for the rules instead of saying “Because I
said so!” Have a willingness to say NO. Can be flexible when needed, help
kids take responsibility for their own actions, but be supportive. When kids
make mistakes or fail, you show more sympathy and forgiveness than
punishment.

Being a Good Parent Parenting Pamphlet Series Instructor’s Manual 75
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