Page 23 - Parenting Pamphlets
P. 23
Why We Fight: What is Your Exercise - What are My Hot Buttons?
The biggest conflicts we have in Body Saying? We all have issues and situations that set us off, cause
families usually center around: us to lose our patience, and get angry. These are your
Power struggles Sometimes what comes out of our “hot buttons.”
Possession of things mouths and what we say through 1. List your hot buttons and how your react to each.
our body language are two totally
Habits and lifestyles different things. Most people tend 2. List ways to keep your buttons from being pushed, and better
Values and beliefs to believe what they see, so what ways to react when you do lose your cool.
How we communicate are you saying? Hot Buttons / How I React Prevention/ Staying Cool
Personality differences EXAMPLE:
Paul promises to take out the trash, Talk to Paul and agree on the
Eye contact– are you looking the then “forgets” EVERY time. time when he needs to have the
Ways to Resolve Conflict other person in the eyes or avoiding - I start yelling and telling him he’s lazy trash out and the punishment if he
Instead of This... Do This... them? like his father. doesn’t do it. Thank him when he
takes it out without being reminded.
Physical violence– hitting, Cool off and take a time out– take a step back, take some time to Gestures and
beating, spanking, shaking breathe.. Give yourself time to think about the situation instead of just posture– are
you relaxed or
Verbal abuse– name reacting. tense? Are your ©2022 Learnovation®, LLC
calling, insults, sarcasm, arms crossed
threats, yelling, screaming Explain what’s bothering you using “I” instead of “You”– I’m upset in defiance or For Evaluation Only
because we had agreed you would do your homework before watching
Emotional abuse– rejection, TV, What happened?” instead of “You better turn off the TV and get your protection?
shame, threats, guilt, homework done now!” You language puts the other person on the defensive. Facial
comparisons, blame expressions– are you showing
Making excuses- finding Each person should restate what the other person said– This way you are emotion in your face, or are you
someone to blame actively listening and looking at the situation from the other person’s point hiding your feelings and showing
Avoiding conflict– change of view. You can find out when what you heard isn’t what the other person nothing?
the subject, letting someone meant. - “So what I heard you say is that...” Voice– Are you talking loud or soft,
else deal with the conflict calmly or yelling? Are you making
Take responsibility for your part in the conflict– Don’t blame the other sounds that show concern and
person for the argument, but stop and look at the situation and decide if interest, or annoyance?
you and your actions have caused part of the problem.
Touch– Does your touch make
Brainstorm solutions together– Come up with several possible solutions to someone uncomfortable? Is your
solve the problem together. Work on ways to compromise. touch right for the situation?
Intensity– Are you being a drama
Acknowledge the other person when the conflict over– Give a hug, say queen or staying cool and calm?
thank you, and let them know you care.
