Page 30 - Parenting Pamphlets
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Being a Single Parent                                                                            Exercise: Setting up Routines

         If you’re a single parent, you’re responsible for day-to-day care of your                        No matter what kind of family you have, you can always create routines that can make life easier.
         children. You probably make less money than you would like, or you are                           What routines do you have in place now, and where do you need to add a few to make your day go
         working extra hours. You may be coming home stressed and too tired to give                       better?
         your kids the attention and discipline you would like. You may have trouble
         finding good childcare, and much of the money you make goes to pay for it.                                   Routines We Have:                            Routines to Add:
         Here are some things you can do to help yourself and your kids do better as a                     Example:                                     Example:
         family:                                                                                           Kids get a bath before bed                   Mae needs to call me at work when she gets
            „ Create routines– Have set times for        „ Find good child care–                           Bedtime story and prayers                    home.  Add 1/2 hour Friday after school where
            meals, homework, and bedtime – it makes      Sometimes an older                                                                             we all work together to pick up the house.
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            the kids feel more secure and know what to   brother or sister (usually age 12 or over) may
            expect.                                      be able to watch a younger sibling, but be sure
            „ Let your kids know the rules– What         to find other options. Be careful and be sure
                                For Evaluation Only
            chores do you expect them to do? What are    you trust the people you have taking care of
            their time limits for electronics or TV? Be   your children.
            consistent with your discipline.             „ Don’t feel guilty about being a single parent–
            „ Show your love– Give praise, hugs, and     You don’t need to spoil your kids to make up
            support. Set aside some time each day to     for not being there or not being able to give
            spend with your kids. Keep your sense of     them as many things as you want.
            humor.                                       „ You don’t have to do everything yourself–

            „ Take care of yourself– Try to keep a       Ask friends, family, and trusted neighbors for
            positive attitude, get physical exercise, eat  help. Join a group for single parents or use
            a healthy diet, and get as much sleep as     support from social services.
            you can.

          Living Together with Kids                                                                      „ If your kids get attached to your partner and then you break-up, they can get hurt, just like
          Here are some things to keep in mind when you live with a partner without being married:           in a divorce. If you tend to move from partner to partner, your kids will struggle.

              „ Why you are living together? Are you looking for someone to be a lover and a             „ Decide how you are going to parent your kids before you move in together. How will you
              provider? Do you want to develop a deeper long term relationship? If you and                   handle conflicts with the kids? How good is your partner with kids?  Make sure your kids and
              your partner are committed to each other, you’ll work harder to make the kids a                your partner have met many times and feel comfortable with each other. Make sure your kids
              priority in the family. If you expect your relationship to be short term, your kids            know your partner isn’t there to replace their own parent, and they are still a priority to you.
              are more likely to have problems with any changes.                                             Kids want your attention, and can get jealous of new people who may be getting more of your
                                                                                                             time. Be sure to show them they are still important to you.
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